Caregivers give their best effort to care for their loved ones. Caring for your loved one with dementia is one of the most challenging, yet most rewarding, things you can do. However, sometimes the way you approach your loved one or a situation can unknowingly result in challenging behavioral symptoms. You may have spent 20, 30, or even 50 years learning how to effectively communicate with your loved one, but finding a whole new way to do it can produce positive results and relieve a lot of stress.
Giving too many steps, saying “no,” rushing and hurrying, or becoming noticeably annoyed with the person can cause a negative reaction. Here are some tips for you to use in diffusing, or avoiding, sticky situations.
Validate
Validating your loved one’s emotion can reduce stress and agitation. Remember that the emotion is more important than the reason behind it. For example, responding to an emotion with “You must be worried,” or “That is frustrating,” validates their feelings and helps give a reason for their emotion. It shows empathy for what they are going through.
Apologize
An apology is a great way to allow a person to move forward in a conversation. It can provide a feeling of relief and comfort to the person as well. For example, if your loved one is upset, you could say, “I’m sorry, this is really hard.” Apologizing to a person can provide relief while acknowledging their emotions.
Reassure
Whether a person has dementia or not, statements of reassurance are naturally calming. For example, if someone is becoming anxious or upset, you could say, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” This assures the person that they are not in this alone and helps remove any doubts or fears they may be experiencing.
Redirect
Redirection or distraction is one of the most effective ways to change the thought process of your loved one with dementia. For example, if the person thinks they have somewhere they need to go, you could say, “Yes, but let’s eat lunch first so we don’t get hungry on the way there.” By the time the person sits down and has a snack or lunch, they may forget they wanted to go anywhere in the first place.
Don’t Re-orient
Try not to re-orient the person into the present reality. Forcing a person with dementia to accept parts of reality that they cannot understand can be harmful. For example, if your loved one says, “I want to go home,” you could respond by saying, “Yes, you grew up on a farm right? Tell me more about that.” Rather than trying to convince them that this is their home, change the conversation in attempt to give your loved on a more positive emotion.
