By Guest Writer: Edith Barth (2017)
Oh for the love of winter and family.
“A funny thing happened on the way…” is one of my favorite sayings. This one is about dealing with ice storms and the thick layer on our driveway. Dealing with the thick ice rink on our driveway was not so funny but this story is.
Jeff, Laura and son Nathan visited us for the holidays. The day before they were to fly home, my husband got suddenly very ill and ended up in the hospital. While my husband was in the hospital, we received a nasty ice storm overnight and Jeff, Laura and Nathan needed to get to the airport early the next morning to fly home again.
I was not good on my feet yet and my son said, “Mom, I will take care of the ice on the driveway for you.” Jeff went to look in the garage for some ice melt.
He could not find what he was looking for. We had ice melt but my husband had not put it in a spot where it is ready to be used. I guess husbands have a way of doing stuff that the rest of the family does not understand at all. Not finding the ice melt and being in a hurry, Jeff used what was in plain sight.
What Jeff used turned out to be the “Weed be Gone” that was closest to the garage door. It was the stringy type. In a few days, the much warmer weather melted the ice but the entire stringy weeds were still on the driveway and being dragged by the car into the garage and then into the house.
My husband was still in rehab and was unable to help clean up the driveways. My daughter Karin, who owns the other side of the duplex, and I got tired of the mess and decided that we needed to clean this mess. Sweeping did not work as this stuff was wet and not easily moved by a broom. We decided we should be able to connect the water hose and let the power of the water hose clean off the driveway.
And now the funny part starts.
Not knowing where my husband keeps the hoses, I looked around the garage. The hoses we normally use were not in the garage. I did find two unopened boxes of those crinkly hoses. Karin took one of the hoses to the side of the house and attached it to the water outlet and I was in business.
Even though I was injured and not good on my feet, I told her I would gladly spray the driveway. “Mom, are you sure?” “Yes,” I replied, “go get your gasoline. The $1 off coupon expires today… I will be fine.” I was dressed warm, Karin had brought out a folding chair for me to sit on and warm gloves. My walker was in the garage close by.
Off she went and I sat down to spray the driveway. I always loved playing with water and hummed happily. This was working fine if I had the right angle of water to the mess. It started getting dark.
I only got half of the driveway rinsed when I realized I needed a longer hose to finish our side. There was no way the hose could reach her driveway at the angle I needed to have it for the power of the water to rinse off this mess.
Well, no problem I thought and we do have the other crinkly hose I could attach. I wobbled into the garage and got the second crinkly hose.
As I had done many times over the years with the regular hoses, I would just bend the hose close to the top and bend it again. That would always slow the water to a mere trickle and I could attach the other hose.
So… I did as I always did and started to loosen the spigot… Woah… the water gushed at me no matter how hard I press the crinkly hose.
Almost drenched I laid the hose down to walk to the side of the house to turn the water off.
However, this hose did not lay down as a regular hose would; this hose jumped around and made sure to finish watering ME. Now I was drenched from top to bottom. “Oh my…” is not what I said at that moment.
I waddled over to the side of the house where I could turn off the faucet. My shoes sank into the mud about an inch deep. “Great!!” I muttered. I did manage to turn off the faucet and waddled back to connect the second hose. I was leaving nice mud prints on the sidewalk and the driveway. Oh my I thought – now I am to walk back to where the faucet is?? And turn it on? I don’t want to sink into the mud again. Besides, I could catch a cold as it is getting chilly and dark… I best go in and change my clothes.
I left the shoes in the garage. I just got inside and the half bathroom is right there. I was standing in my wet underwear when my daughter came in and said, “So Mom, why did you not get my upper driveway hosed off?” I looked at her with wet hair, a wet face and standing in wet underwear and said, “Do you really need to ask?” Ha ha ha, we had a good laugh and continued the task the next day. For tonight it was already dark outside and also cold. After all, it is winter – in January – in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
